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April 15 The Dream!!Grrrrr!
i guess it's time to spill the beans...
anyone EVERYONE!?!?
i have this dream. everynight the same dream....i wont go into detail but i always wake up screaming names and with tears streaming down my cheeks. i ...i...well...i just need some help. please. how might one go about getting rid of these dreams....staying up until your body gives out is a bad idea... it makes the dreams stronger to me...i geuss i wake the ways i do because these things actually happened and where i am staying now....always wakeing to a voice i reconize as my own screaming in tears..."i dont want to be your girlfriend i want to be your wife!"
im going to stop myself before i keep going into detail ...
but seriously if anybody has some advice i would greatly aprechiate it.
thank you,
in her time of need,
Amandalyn Renee' Ferrara January 30 oh the things i wish....object width="425" height="344">the things i wish for the things i see i wonder what things will be. i havent a clue so i tell to you ill await on my midnight marble and if by chance you can find it you'll see what i do.... January 23 stuckso i got to thinking and im stuck on the questions asked after certai events.like: are you going to be good with your new "friends"? stuff like that. as if trying to pry an not pry at the same time. well if you were to say no, or, you dont really want to know, what would happen. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
OH YEAH I WOKE UP WITH A BLOODY CHEST AND CUTS AFTER A VERY REAL PAINFUL DREAM....DEATH ITS EVERYWERE! ~*~la vita dopo la morte~*~ Past the point of no return!I'm there! Shrink notebook12:14 pm
that's what time it is and im talking to a damn note book instead of a flesh and blood person.
is that a bad idea useing a notebook as someone to tell my problems to?
i mean a notebook can't judge me and when questions are being asked i know it's me asking them but i have an easier time answering them....
silly me talking to a notebook telling it my problems..i must be desprate to figure out whats bothering me at the depths.
I should reach out but i dont because i feel most people don't really care
I know im not the only one who just needs a friend to confide in....
GRRRR!
I'll stop rambleing on now.  September 23 Have you ever.....Have you ever tried so hard to reach your dream and in this one point in time you finally get a taste of what you where trying to reach, and then somehow some way it just gets farther away as if it wants you to try harder to reach it.You want to go for it so bad you can practically picture what would or could happen but your so afraid to go after it because you don't belive in yourself. You tell all thoughs around you that you have the strengh or the will and that your "ok" but your not and what's amazing is your true friends or people who really truley know you know something is wrong with you, and most the time they want to help, they just don't know how to exactly because they only know the little bit of the problem that they can see.
Well if so join the club
I wish i knew how to help myself feel a little better
i sapose i'll figure it out sooner or later.
And to all my "true" friends and people who truely care about me,
THANK YOU
i feel a bit better knowing you want to help me as much as i doJuly 28 Kryptic?I'm told that i am kyrptic in many ways but i don't see how.
The one way i am told that i am kryptic is in the way of speech.
I'm told that i talk in riddles so that you have a verbal puzzle to figure out,
whatever that means.
It's just i have so much to say and not everybody wants to hear it.
Maybe thats how I became so kryptic in my wording such as speech and poetry ,writing and so on.
Maybe it's so those who do want to here me and understand a little bit better will hear me with out a word being said.
But who knows for sure.
You know they say a picture sais a thousand words and the picture up above sais alot about how i feel most the time.
Oops there I go again starting up with the krypticness again.
I'll end this blog for now feel free to comment it in any ways even if you leave me a kryptic comment thats ok I like tofigure things like that out;)
Lots of love to anybody who reads and comments this.
XXXOOOXXX July 22 Abuse!why does it seem that when we here the word abuse we think father, brother, boyfriend,or husband we rarely think mother,sister,girlfriend, or wife? Is it because men tend to use physical abuse rather then verbal/mental abuse? Could it be that females are really the worse kind of abusers? Physical wounds can heal but Verbal and mental abuse never goes away it leaves perminate scaring about how we see ourselfs and what we feel. I just find it odd that when we here the word "Abuse" We think of males, don't you? July 17 Time differances~~~???Time differances
To who ever reads this i promise i'm not koocoo i just wonder about alot and feel free to comment on this topic;)
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Most of us look at the clock and see the time but yet we think nothing of its meaning, we just say oh hey it's 2:45 and we get on with our lifes, but what if Time differance actually mean something more.I'm not talking about the whole 6-7 hour time differance bettween here and another country but like when your watch sais 2:45 and the person across the rooms sais 1:45. Maybe in that time, that person is sapose to help you out in some way or maybe it's a way of stealing time. Now I know somebody who reads this is going to say "stop being stupid and read a history book we as people made differant time zones...DUHH!" ...well as true as that may be in that may be the time is still off nobody has the same exact time on their clock/watch so as i have said maybe it is a way of stealing time or something and like i have also said i'm not koocoo I just let my mind wonder and i would like to continue this as a convo with somebody. however it is quite possible that i will be adding more to this BLOG.
And to let you see a little bit of an idea about what i mean watch this video if you wish.
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